Yesterday I had a day where I collapsed in many ways. But something positive and transformative always emerges from crises. I realized that my own beliefs and expectations towards others and myself make my life full of disappointments.

Part of growing is knowing how to use your own energy and be responsible for it. For a long time, I did not understand; I saw managing energy as an abstract process. As if energy was a kind of magic external to me, as if it were an abstract and mystical concept, I could not anchor the concept to everyday life’s physics. However, it seems to me that now I can see it clearly, managing your own energy consists of taking responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your emotions, not giving that responsibility to another. Cleansing myself of what others expect of me and what I expect of myself sets me free and inevitably makes me responsible for my own energy.

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To get to this, you have to see things from the point of view in which you generally would not — for example, seeing a relationship more than one of dependency as an accompaniment. Not trying to change another and accept it as it is, is part of what unconditional love means, doing things from love, not from the fear of abandonment or failure. Today, it is necessary to understand this, since as humans, we are trying to take a step further at the evolutionary level.

We must understand that power is always in ourselves, but we have forgotten it. Instead, we give power to others to make us happy, to please ourselves, to solve our problems. This causes anguish, despair, and disappointment because inevitably, sometimes things are not what we expect or are not as we want them to be.

As humanity, we have a permanent feeling of abandonment, but this is nothing more than the projection of how we have abandoned ourselves. By allowing others to decide for me, by doing the things that I don’t want to do, by not following what makes me happy, for fear of what they might say or the uncertainty of tomorrow, by not being responsible with my diet, with my physical well-being. I am continually abandoning myself.

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As human beings, we have an internal force that always points us in the right direction, towards coherence, towards love. Not following it, not listening to it, is what leads us on the wrong path, that of incoherence.
Social decadence happens and is becoming more noticeable as we abandon ourselves; when I am incoherent with my thoughts, my actions become just as incoherent. When I convince myself to do things that are not under the principles I consider correct because of external pressures, I am abandoning myself.

It is also essential to question your own beliefs, ask yourself if they are coherent, is it something that I repeat out of habit? Where did I learn this? Can I act in a different way that comes from my truth and not someone else’s? Or if I want to believe something, but inside of me, I really don’t feel that way. Believing that things should be a certain way or believing that a person should behave in a certain way leads to disappointment. The change in perception would be to understand that each person acts in the best way within their own thought patterns, limiting or not. Like me, like all of us.

The problem is not in the other; the problem is in your perception; change your perception. Your world will change; it sounds cliché, but when you examine certain situations in your life, you realize that you can solve everything with a simple change of perspective.

Free yourself from your chains, try to do things a little differently than you would typically, think outside the box, outside your mental structures for a moment. You don’t have to stay where you are if you don’t want to, you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to do it, always try to act from your own truth, not the superficial one, that which is more profound, from sincerity and love. There are other options; what happens is that they are usually outside of our comfort zone, outside of our normal parameters of thought, from which we hardly get out unless external situations force us. That is why crises force us to rethink who we are and what we are capable of doing. And eventually, we do.

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Building your reality is not an abstract concept; it means taking responsibility for your energy and creating with it the things you want in your life, not waiting for someone else to do it for you. We are much more powerful than we think; it is time to remember and grow.

What I see in the other and I don’t like is a projection of myself and everything I must integrate into myself. This means acknowledging it within myself. We are like yin and yang, with a good thing and a bad thing. This represents the polarities of everything around us. What I have in front of me is my opposite pole. It means that I am one of the poles. If you integrate the two poles, you can use both forces and come into balance. We are all one.

This is so much easier to write than to do; that’s why when I write, I’m not just writing for others; I’m writing to remind myself of something we all used to know but have forgotten.

I am not saying that this reality is the only one; I consider that we all have our own experiences that make us reach our conclusions, and they are all equally valid; the truth is built between all points of view.

My name is Gabriela, and I'm an illustrator with a not so secret passion for writing, investigating, and discovering the human psyche.